Expert Opinions

As I stated last week, I love browsing the major sports websites to reinforce my overinflated expectations of our basketball team this season. The problem is that lately I am finding commentary that is significantly less positive than my idiot brain is expecting. So once again, below are my top 5 picks for biggest disses of UCLA basketball on the major sports web sites in the last few days.

5. Andrew Skwara of rivals.com writes about the top ten impact freshman this season. First off, K-Love is number four. I have seen the fabled outlet pass, and I am sorry, I will not stand for anything less than number two (with Chace Stanback being number 1) and take a look at the teaser to the link on Yahoo! sports -

UCLA's Kevin Love is one of the precocious players.

It turns out this is actually a compliment , but most people don't know this and most people won't bother to click the link, so this counts as a mega-dis.



4. Jay Bilas has become one of the usual suspects in Expert Opinions as he refuses to recognize the greatness of our team. In his latest bruin bashing installment he fails to recognize K-Love's dominance:

UCLA's Kevin Love and Memphis' Rose will carry important loads but may not put up Kevin Durant numbers.

I wouldn't be so sure, because thus far K-Love has been a double-double machine. Bilas later predicts his point guard of the season. Although I appreciate the mention of my dog DC, the mention does not come without a caveat.

Could someone outplay Collison and take the mythical crown? Sure. Memphis' Rose is a better NBA prospect; some others are bigger; and still others shoot it better.

How about a taste of his own medicine? Jay Bilas is my pick for ESPN writer of the year. Could someone out-write him and take the mythical crown. They will. RL Stine can write better; others have a larger vocab; and many others write better. (Hurts doesn't it?)

And Bilas completely glosses over our boy Westbrook. I guess he missed that picture of Westbrook getting a domer from a Chico State slacker from Monday nights game.

3. Pat Forde is the next writer that has some splainin' to do. In this column on espn.com, he not only puts us at number three behind NC and Memphis, he also brings up the ending of our season last year - in a shitty way. Under the heading, "Five Teams Trying To Forget How Last Year Ended" - Forde puts us at number five on the list:

UCLA: Punked by Florida again.

Has Forde even watched MTV in the last 12 years? Doesn't he know that the meaning of the word punked has been radically altered for the better in that time frame? Was BJ Novak the starting PG for Florida the past two seasons? Didn't think so. Not sure what you call losing in the Final Four to the same team in consecutive years, but I know that punked no longer applies. Getting punked is when your agent pays Ashton Kutcher to play an increasingly lame, unquestionably fake, and needlessly elaborate joke on you to promote your upcoming crappy movie.
And uh, last time I checked back to back Final Four visits was not something to forget, dipshit.

2. Jon Wilner of Sporting News states his reasons for picking UCLA as preseason #1, but in so doing, sneaks a few insults into the mix. He starts his "case" for UCLA by pointing out that we had no chance the last two years:

Had UCLA played Florida 100 times, the Gators would have won 90 -- the skills sets, matchups and playing styles were overwhelmingly in their favor.

So, we are just one good team from another failure in the tournament? Is that it? I guess he technically does give us a 10% chance, which happens to be the same chance that I fail to sign him up for several impotency drug web site mailing lists. Wilner does not stop there, ending his piece with a harsh parting shot when he points out the "only thing" our squad is missing - a good player.

They're missing...an uber-athlete who operates on the wing, plays above the rim and can make something out of nothing. For all his skills, Afflalo was not a great one-on-one player -- that's why he lasted until late in the first round of the NBA Draft -- and neither is Shipp.

How dare you sir - A^2 is beyond reproach.

1. The main page on CNNSI currently has a poll up that made my stomach turn. It reads:

Who will be the next big name to lose to a DII squad? (If you hadn't heard - Ohio State lost to a school called Findlay)

The poll offers five teams to choose from and an "other" option for those creative enough to come up with their own answer. The fact that UCLA was an option makes me seriously question the credibility of the site as a reliable source for my sporting news. Obviously some uppity bitch in the poll department over at CNNSI is having a laugh. She can't possibly be serious, though. After doing fifteen minutes or so of extensive research into the question, I ticked the bubble next USC and submitted my incredibly refined opinion. I was relieved to see that the CNNSI readers were obviously in my corner on this one. In fact, UCLA was trailing like Barrack Obama playing one on one against K-Love. Heck, even the nondescript "other" had more votes than us.


Hopefully next week we will get some respect and thus, there will be no need for another installment of Expert Opinions. Don't count on it.